I have a dream

I am going to keep this short, it is my birthday today. Right now, I finally know what I want to do in my future. I will probably talk about it more when I finish university. I have three months left and these are the hardest three months of my life. I am really going to try and get the work done at a good standard. I really hope that I get a first or a 2:1. I hope I don't get anything lower. I don't know if I can function if that happens.

Decision time- cross roads

I feel like all my posts are about my career confusions, life and so on now.

Right now, I am more certain that I want to start my own website company and it's going to be in the entertainment industry. I want to entertain people as I have been entertained but I would like it more in my home country instead of doing it mainstream.

So for now I need to write creatively. I used to write fan-fics and I enjoy reading books and I have tried a number of times to write a book but I was too lazy and I never got past 10 pages.

But I want to write a script, something small, I had ideas of doing scripts of someone in their room, and then I could do a storyboard and then act it out my self, like a weirdo. But that's the creative fun part I guess. Too see how I can use the lack of everything to be able to actually create something and then using after effects and premiere pro to edit and make it look like an actual film.

I think when I graduate or now it would be interesting to have a kdrama review kind of site and also a book review blog, and if I am brave I could go on youtube and actually give reviews in person and also play sims 4 and other games twitch and youtube. And also to write a book, probably Dystopian or romance. I really like those genres and now a days I can self-publish my books sell them on itunes or amazon and other online publications. This could be for free or for 99p. Even if we hope 10,000 buy the book. That is a lot of money.

I just want to entertain people, give them the joy that I have been given. Without TV shows, films, k dramas or books I don't know what kind of person I would be. It has been my escape from everything and I would love to offer that to others.

Especially where I am from because I can see that there is a market there that can be tapped into it just needs someone who knows what their doing. I feel like money will be an issue so for now I want to have a website with old shows, getting licencing and build it up a bit and then start creating the shows. The hardest part will be getting an investor. I will try hopefully, I will get one after things start rolling and then the next step will be actually start filming and production work. I said to myself, I know I will have made it if I can do a remake of "boys over flowers."

Wow, actually writing it down or typing it makes my mind feel a lot clearer. I keep on going back and forth on if I should do this or that but now I am going to take a chance and go for it. My predictions are that by 2017 I will be in production of my first drama. That is the hope. I know I am my own worst enemy but I will give it a real shot and not be lazy or put off when it gets hard.

Life: All work no play = a boring unproductive life

I have just realised that my life is quite boring. I enjoy watching shows and stuff but I don't do anything of relevants. I feel like I have to use all of my time to work on Uni work since this is my final year. And it is very stressful but I know myself now and I always do the opposite. When I am overwhelmed I always do end up not doing anything and then feeling the rush when it's almost due in and this year I cannot do that because I will end up with a poor grades.

Honestly, don't think it's hard but it just needs time. I just need to get my brain in the right state of mind to actually sit on that desk and do the work consistently. Maybe that is what I should aim for. Every day no matter what I should sit down and do some work even if it is for only 30 minutes. Atleast I would have done something. I am also thinking of eating healthier and exercising. Maybe Pilates to see what will happen, because I am always feeling tired and unproductive.

I always think about when I was in high school doing my GCSE's and how I was able to concentrate on my subjects but I have grown up and I guess during lunch times and break times and even walking home with friends I did do other things but I always come back home and revised or maybe that's just my delusions. I don't know anymore. It has been 5 years or more now.

I want to do something productive other than watching shows kdrama (new addiction) or regular tv shows and being forced to go out to restaurants and stuff and doing Uni work. I want to feel like I am accomplishing something.

I was thinking of starting a blog whereby I combine the things I love and do either daily posts or a post once or twice a week. I was thinking about book reviews, something to do with web designs and learning how to fully use photo shop and more products and reviews on kdrama's that I have watched or GIF's. Something like that.

I want to actually be a productive individual.

I am going to make the website today, maybe I will go for the minimalist look, I don't know.

Consistency is the word of this post.

Emptiness

It is November now and I am almost finished with my first term of university. I know I am capable of finishing university with a good grade but it's what will I do after I am finished that worries me. I feel empty. I do not think I could be an academic kind of person because it doesn't give me a a  rush, enjoyment that I need. I just feel like I will be going into auto-mode where I just along with things. Maybe that's why I prefer to do things last minute.

This makes me think about what I want to do at work, do I just want to be an accountant. I know deep down that I don't want to be an Accountant at all. I feel like if I work for myself, that will give me the rush I need in life.

But my fear is I don't want to end up like last time, unemployed and going to job seekers but this time. I have a degree so I have nothing to do. I hated that time in my life and I do not want to go back there again.

What do I want to do then? I want to start a knitting website. Selling handmade knitting and then expand into other products by buying machines that do that. Then I want to also make wigs and sell them online. I feel like there is profit there. But my goal is to make a website with videos on it. I won't go into too much details here but I want to entertain people like I have been entertained.

So what is stopping me, why would I rather procrastinate instead of doing anything. Is it fear? Or something else. Is it the fear of accepting adulthood. It is finally here.

Maybe I am complicating this, my life. Maybe it's actually really simple. Just do what makes you happy....

First Korean Drama - Coffee Prince Review

If like me maybe you loved Kpop music and you are thinking about watching a Korean drama, where do you start because they are so many drama's out there. For me I just searched on youtube video's, read comments and I don't really know why but I decided to watch Coffee Prince.

I can say I was intrugued by the first episode and hooked by the 3rd episode but by the 6th episode my ovaries had exploded and I was soo in love with this series that my life stopped.

This was just perfect...Like the main girl  and the guy deserve Oscars and every award on earth. It was so emotional and well-scripted and your heart beats fast, you laugh, scream, cry. I don't think I have ever seen anything so beautiful in my life and I have watched a lot of shows. It reminded of the Notebook except if Ryan Gosling was the rich one. I think their chemistry was what sold me.

If you are contemplating watching this shows, watch it now, Watch it NOW! Just search Korean drama and the first two links worked for me. Also, get adblock if you are at it.

So now go and watch it and you can come back and thank me later.
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This is the spoilers section.......please do not ruin it for yourself and go watch the show.

I went to sleep very late or should I say very early in the morning because of this show. I felt like I was in some bubble watching their lives go on and I enjoyed myself.

I am going to talk about the main male character on the show, I will say Mr.Choi,lol. I think I was so used to these I guess pretty chiseled boys from Kpop bands like 2pm or beast or even big bang that when I saw I saw Gong Yoo, his real name it took me like a minute to fall in love with him. I loved the way he looked at her and the way he smiled and laughed at her. Even when he got jealous of other guys. He really loved her and even when they argued.

If I could pick three moments that I loved about him I would choose.

1) When she fell asleep and he looked at her and wanted to touch her. I think for me that moment is special because that's when he realised that he loved her even though she was a he to him.

2)When she was in the wedding dress and his reaction when he saw her. She looked so beautiful like a princess and his reaction is how every woman wants a man to look when he sees his wife to be.

3)This was a hard one but I have to would say for me it was the sex scene because of how he reacted to not wanting to have her there and how they looked at each other before they kissed and then the kiss and lifting her up. It was just.....*sighh* Magic. Just Magic.

Gong Yoo is not a normal man his just a Superior man, his 6 feet tall exactly,(I had to google the cm when they mentioned it on the show) This style was always, ALWAYS on point and his body. Oh my days, like his body is....no words. And his face is beautiful. God clearly took his sweet time on him.

Okay, lets move on to the leading lady. I will call My Chan,lol. Yoon Eun hye deserves an Oscar for her acting skills. Wow! She was outstanding and I see why she cried at the end of filming in the video I saw on you tube. I am emotional after watching it I can't imagine how she feels after months of playing this character so well. I loved her personality and the fact that she worked hard to provide for her family and always looked on the bright side no matter what.

Her three favorite moments with me are

1)When she was crying on the bus home from the exhibit show. I felt her pain in my heart and the pain of loving someone who doesn't love you.

2)I loved the scene when she blows in his face to wake him up and when she blows in her hair. That was cute when he kept on remembering that part and then he told her to stop and then he started blowing in his hair.

3) This is not one scene but I loved her interactions with the other guys in the coffee shop. The jokes, the teasing around and the arguments. I think when she was leaving and they all came in and hugged her. I loved that.

I liked when Gong the main guy character said that he stayed because of the people that he worked with. He loved going to work with them and the reason why he liked making toys was because he could be on his own and to me that stayed with me because he was happy, in love and going to work. She didn't need or she didn't go clubbing, get drunk, they did get drunk and he passed out. Lol, that was funny when she carried him home twice.

The casting was good, I loved everyone in the show from the grandmother to all the other workers. They all had different personalities and it just worked.

I really enjoyed myself watching this show and now I am having a dilemma as to if I should watch another KA drama or not. I don't even know if it was a good idea to watch such an amazing show first. How will the others compare? Will there be another couple with this much chemistry as these two. Will they be another superior guy as Gong Yoo. *drools*


If I was to watch other shows  I think I will try Secret Gardens, Boys over flowers, Goong in that order.

Taking the leap

This says it all, I am going to take a leap in my career. It might back fire on me but I am going to do it.

Going into my final year of university

I made it, I am going into my final year of university. It is nothing like I expected. I could not have predicted this ever happening even if I wanted to. I have made friends and I have shared experiences with them that I will remember for a long time. I have fallen in love sadly with someone who wasn't ready but in the process I have learn't a lot about myself and the fact that I have changed. I am not the same girl I was when I was in high school. I have lost friends and I have gained friends at the same time.

My second year was filled with sadness and a lot of tears and failures. I was lost and I thought a lot about how I had to be like this or achieve this so that I can finally be accepted and now I just don't care. I am going to be me and I know they are people I am going to meet in the next year or 2 years that are going to make me happy.

From my blog just reading my posts you can tell that I have struggled with my career options. What do I want to do with my life. Do I want to be an accountant, recruitment consultant, financial trader, business owner.....

I have gotten this far in my life without this much stress. Maybe the stress is good. Honestly, right now I am going to focus on just getting a 1st or 2.1 in my final year. I am going to be focused and work hard so that I can achieve something. I imagine opening that envelope or clicking on the results and seeing a 1st degree. I have to aim high and reach for the stars. I am going to do this....