Wednesday 25 March 2020

Currently just existing- No purpose



I remember when I started 2020 I had all these plans and all the things that I wanted to achieve this year. 3 months down the line and I haven’t achieved anything.

I don’t even have the energy to do the fun hobbies that I like, like learning Korean and I also wanted to learn Thai but in three months I have done the absolute minimum.

I realised on Sunday what it was, when I was going to work I was thinking of all the things I wanted to do and achieve when I went to work. As on a Sunday I only do 3 hours but as I walked home that day I felt so frustrated and drained that I ended up doing nothing.

Usually eating junk food helps me get over it but now I feel like it’s so much that junk food doesn’t help anymore.

And I am too tired to do anything that I go to work, come home and watch or read up about the coronavirus and carry on.

I don’t want to stay here in this dead end position. I am grateful for the opportunity but I need to get out. I don’t know how but unless I use the extra time I have after work and during the weekends then I will just remain where I am right now.

I just want to have a passion again. To be nervous and excited about something.

To have a purpose again.

Let me find the purpose and get back to you.