I guess the biggest change from when I turned 25 to now is that I now have a job. I went through a lot in during the last 12 months. I had signed on to job seekers, so I was attending that once a week and then that turned into once every two weeks.
I had interviews almost once a month. They all turned out to be rejections after rejections. I went on holiday to snowdonia which was absolutly beautiful. Then I started this mentoring circle which resulted in me making 3 new friends which I am still friends with today. I then did my first work experience at a rail company for three days.
That was the first time in more than a year when I had to wake up early and be active all day. Afterwards, I had an 8 week work experience at the job centre, I got to meet everyone, work with my friends and help people. It was fun and I enjoyed it alot.
Afterwards, I went to an interview at a big travel agency and I actually got the place. I had assumed that they would be 2 places, we really weren't told much but there was only one place and I ended up getting it.
That was the first interview after many rejections where I had gotten the job. What I liked about the place was that, I remember one time we drove past it and I remember I was quite young, maybe 16/17 around then and it's a big office building and you can tell it's an office building and can see the desks and chairs and computers from outside and I remember clearly at that time thinking to myself that I would love to work there. Or it would be amazing to have a job there and without knowing or trying I ended up there. Even though it was work experience.
I still had the card that gave me access, I had the desk that was mine.
It was a big company, a company that is on the stock exchange, that makes millions or even billions of profit.
I was surrounded by a lot of white people. There was a canteen, a costa, a cash machine, a sandwich area. A free vending machine that gave free water, hot chocolate, tea. At the press of a button. I remembered at the job centre in the lunch room there being a vending machine and my friend paying like 30p for hot chocolate and how the other vending machine wouldn't even give her a packet of crisps because it didn't work.
They would give you a discount on holidays with the travel company and there were people who got free holidays on the new destinations launched.
The people I worked with, honestly, they were alright. I had to work hard to be more social and it honestly was mentally straining but the work I was doing was so dull and boring that I found time went somewhat quicker if I conversed with the people I sat with.
There was one day though, they had this thing were once a month someone would come and speak. That day we had 3 white guys. I think the CEO, marketing manager and another white guy in a powerful position. And they stood there and talked for about an hour and as I sat there and listened to them talk about things that really didn't affect me. I realised that on every single team the manager was a white guy. So, I went on the website and looked at the members of the board and they were ten people on it. 8 white guys and 2 white women.
It was a realisation that I knew but that made it clearer what country lived in.
These jobs where not that great, alot of them anyone could learn, because when there is a big company sometimes you need people to do basic repetetive things over and over again.
But I saw a lot more pregnant women there than in normal which showed that felt comfortable. You had some sort of a job security and I will give it to the company they tried their best to make it a happy environment.
So, then moving on to where I am working at now. I have a full time job, I get paid a decent wage. The place is a walking distance from my house. And I am doing a job that relates to my degree.
It is something that I probably wouldn't have imagined getting and here it was. As an assistant account/ sales. I work for a family business.
The thing is before I got the job I had given up applying, I was done. I had been unemployed for 2 years and I had been claiming job seekers for a year and I was tired. So, I decided that I was going to become self-employed. Then I got offered this job and honest to God I didn't believe it, it wasn't until I got my first pay slip that I started to believe it.
That leaves me to where I am now. I could take my AAT exams and then try to do the graduate schemes in september. I will have a related job, I will have an extra qualification and more. I might have a better chance of getting a job.
But do I want to, I am 26 now, I started doing accounting when I was 16 in college. I remember leaving the exam for accounting over it, I took multiple retakes and I still left with an E. My first and only E. Ever, I somehow ended up going to university to do that same course and I left with a 2:2.
And now I somehow believe that I can get into a graduate scheme where I will be going against people who have gone to better universities, who have better grades and who are white and male.
But that doesn't really matter what matters is would that make me happy, if by some reason I got a job at a big accounting firm. I got my dream job would I be happy?
Initially yes, I believe I would be happy because that would make my family happy. I would be happy because I will be working at a big firm. But I will be miserable, I will be in shackles again.
Right now I am free, sort-off. I have the freedom to decide what I want to do with myself and I have been thinking about this for the past few weeks. Going back and forth and I want to be self-employed. I want to start my own business. I want to be my own boss and to do my own things.
This job acts as a safety net whilst I start things up. I know it will take time to build up so that it is profitable but I am smart and I have great ideas and I believe that I will be happier if I was too work for my self.
Wow, actually typing it out and making it into reality feels weird. It feels as though I can breathe again. I believe these 10 years have been a long lesson, I have picked up many skills that have lead me to this point and now I just need to leap with confidence into this journey.
This is my choice. The next ten years will be focused on growing my businesses. I would hope that in a few years they will be profitable enough that I will be able to live off of them.
I know I will have many challenges ahead but this is my only choice. I feel like to be successful I had to reach this point, to come to this understand and here I am.
I am ready to take on this new year, take on a 26 year old me who will be a CEO. A strong smart talented business woman.
No comments:
Post a Comment