Life: Goals and achievements.

As you can gather from my more than sad previous posts, I have been lost, sad and more or less lonely. And I couldn't really put my finger on why that was because sometimes you don't even know that you are lonely. What has changed from the first year and the second year.

I guess in the first year, everything was new and were I lived I could just walk out of my room and speak to someone and that would cheer me up but now in the second year I realise that we are not really close. We talk and laugh but there's something missing and because I couldn't find something at home I decided to look outside. At first it was positive things like, church, volunteering, societies and so on and so on but I always felt like the spare part. Everytime I went out I always felt like the add on, because I don't really belong anywhere. Except at home with my family.

Things need to change, I need to focus on something positive in my life and find something that I am passionate about or that I like. I kept on thinking of when I played a game called runescape and I was a teenager and my friends were going out and socialising and stuff and I never really enjoyed that, as much because it wasn't me. Even when I created a fansite for a celebrity or anything like that, I did it because it made me happy. Going on forums, twitter, all of that, even arguing on you tube or making you tube video's and seeing the views like those things weirdly made my day and made me happy and I don't even do that anymore. I miss the little buzz it gave me.

So, I want to make a list of all the goals of things that I have been putting off or I am afraid of. I guess when you are young you just do what you like without caring but now I just care too much and where I got that from I have no Idea.

1) I want to learn how to design fan sites and for someone to make atleast one purchase.
This is something that I have wanted to do for a long time and I have always failed but I am going to give it a real try. First I will need to learn, html, css, php, wordpress...Then I will need to practice on a design.

2) I want to create a book website. Basically, I need read more books, review then, be more active in the community on goodread, they seem nice.

3) I want to join twitter and have at least 500 followers, I know it sounds crazy but I think i had 1k or 2k followers the last time I was on twitter and I had fun. So I want to go back on there.

So, far that's all. Will see.