Life: feeling lost (lost friends and second year at university)

Right now I feel down and lost. I am trying.....emphasis on trying to find out who I am and trying to for some reason fit in and be friends with everyone when I am know it can't be done. From the old flat mates that are still going out and enjoying themselves and here I am finally coming to the realisation that we have to part ways and that sometimes it's just good to remember the good old times and not dwell on not participating. I enjoyed my first year with them and now I have to accept that it's over.

We were a bunch of people all over the world who were placed in halls together but without the closeness of the halls I guess efforts just don't occur. I will miss them all some more than others but I have to remember that all good things come to an end and the good thing is that it ended well. On good terms, no embarrassing stories. So why carry it on until it ends on bad terms.

Then there is university, Second year of accounting and finance is different. I don't really know how I feel about it to be honest with you, it's all about shareholders and it's a lot of reading. I guess I really need to get myself up and moving seeing as I can't drop out now or I will be the laughing stock of the world. I am smart but I just don't find it interesting.........there I said it.

Pause!

Some people say you have to grind and go through the horrible, boring times before you can even get to the interesting times. I feel like I have trapped myself and put myself in so deep that the only way I can move is forward and that involves just working through this and trying to get a 1st grade. But I feel like I am already behind. It's shocking how quickly that can happen and then I don't do any work to try and improve it. I am a loser.

I am looking for a motivator but nothing comes to mind, ever. Im just here sitting, whilst life goes on.