I Want to do Something with my Life

When I dropped out of University all I was thinking about is that I need to leave this place and how horrible doing nursing was. The problem was I never thought about what I would do after. I have ideas and I am a positive dreamer, if I get an idea in my head about something I start to see myself doing that and imagining all these crazy life but in reality when I get to do it or when I really think about what it actually is, it's not very good. I left thinking that I was going to do Maths and go all the way but now I am not sure.

When I think about something I was good at it was maths, even in primary school. It was so easy for me and it just clicked. Obviously I wasn’t the best but it was my best subject. I never took education really that seriously when I was in high school until the last year. I remember in Maths I suddenly started to do really well mainly because I spending more time doing maths and then I got move up to the top maths class and I met the best teacher ever. She believed in me and she thought I was really good at maths and that I could get an A, if I worked at it.

That belief in me, I had never ever felt that before and every day after school, after going to after school classes I would still revise maths. I learnt the whole book and if I didn't work out anything in class I would go over it. I still remember those exams. They were so easy I knew every single answer. I was so confident. Of course to me and my family's surprise maths was the only thing I ever got an A in. I never ever thought I would get an A in anything. But I did even if no one believed I could do it. I did it and I remember when I was in Uni doing nursing I think I told several people about that. I was so proud. I don't think I have ever done anything else since then that makes me as proud as when I got that A in Maths.

I had lost faith in my dream, it's not an astronaut, singer, doctor, painter or anything that people have dreams about. Most people hate maths but I love it and I might not be great yet but that's my dream. I dream of becoming a research analyst and that means I will have to go back to university and do Mathematics. A degree in maths, who would have thought I would be doing something like or even thinking about doing something like that. There are many obstacles ahead of me and at this point I am the only one that believes in me. And there are many people that tell me I cannot do this and I did believe them but now that I am looking at other options it's the only thing that I think I would enjoy to do.

I have been making up excuses and doing other things to distract me from actually doing what I think is important and this is wasting my time. I am not going anywhere, with this. I have to become an adult now and I need to start taking control of my life. Firstly, I am going to make a cv and a cover letter.....Hopefully, get a job to save up for some money then I can go to college again to do the course I need to go to University. I feel like it's going to be twice as hard to get here than it would have been two years ago. If only I hadn't been lazy and I had actually taken things seriously.

 But Oh well it’s better late than never.