Another unemployment post

I am still unemployed, hooray but I just wanted to come on here and vent how I am feeling that now. I feel like trash, I feel useless and low. And it's hard, I am 25 years old now and I know I am smart but when you get knocked back again and again and again it starts to build on you. It starts to affect you.

I'm at the point where I am even applying for retail jobs, stock taking jobs, just job a rejection email from NEXT for a stock taker job, yay.

I am starting to think, I need to do things myself, depend on myself. I am decent at web design, I have a little website, not this where I have started making websites, where I am still learning but I even made my first money. It was like £2.50 but I made something.

I get excited when I create something and I am getting better and it makes me feel as though I am not useless. So now I am at the point where I am going to put all my eggs in that basket. I will still apply for jobs but this is my main focus. I know I will need to start building a portfolio and then when improve more then I can start showcasing that and I can either get a job in that filed or freelance.

I also want to look into 3d designs. I have downloaded the software but I havent used it yet.

You know I might be unemployed for another year but if I spend it just applying to job and not doing anything else I know that will be the biggest regret of my life because in august, literally a year ago, i decided I want to apply to graduate schemes since I graduate from University with an accounting degree and from September to December all I did was apply to graduate schemes and those take a lot of time, doing the application forms, the questions and the research. Then the numerical and verbal reasoning tests. And during all of that, I didn't get one interview. I just got rejection, after rejection until I started to apply to regular firms, finance/ accounting jobs in general not graduate schemes and I got a few interviews. So from January until May. I think went to 5 interviews, one was a volunteering thing and I got rejected from all of them.

And it was hard and the interviews where the biggest confidence knocks in my life. Now, it’s been a year. Most of my focus was on applying for jobs. So, in a sense I wasted a year of my life and I didn’t get anything out of it except tears and a low self-worth.

But I feel like I am someone who was programmed to do the right thing, even if it doesn’t make me happy. I went to college, went to uni. I would have stuck around a job I didn’t like just to be a normal citizen. Basically, and even now I think from time to time when will this end and it doesn’t end. When will I have a career, when will someone give me a chance. I get those thoughts but even though it’s hard I am starting accept that accounting is not for me. I have been rejected.

I have two choices in life

Cry and carry on applying, waste another year of my life.

Or 2. Take things into my own hands, create my own opportunities and I will probably have to worker than I have ever worked in my whole entire life. But I have no choice, that is what I will have to do.