A harsh life lesson, graduate schemes are only for a select few.

I have been thinking about primary school when I was 9/10 years old and I didn't have work stresses or worries. It was just going to school, trying your best and having fun when you can.

I have been applying to graduate schemes since September, started preparing in August and I have been rejected to every single one. At first I thought it was passing the numerical/verbal reasoning tests but then when I passed them I still got rejected. I have made mistakes, I have had ups and down's during my education but now I am here. Unable to get a job as accountant. Maybe, apart of me was kidding myself, I didn't go to a top university, I didn't get a great degree grade but I wanted to try. I wanted to give it a go so that in the future I wouldn't say to myself if only I had applied to those graduate schemes. 

Watching the videos and hearing the people that had the jobs talk about how they got the jobs. Majority knew someone who already worked at the firms and the only ones who didn't had great grades. 

So now I know the truth. And I have felt the rejections. So, I understand other people more now. Sometimes, you just have to adjust to the situation. I remember watching this interview of an actress and she was talking about how she tried singing first but singing just rejected her and it wasn't mean't for her but then she did acting and now she's very popular and successful career. 

So for me I feel as though this is what I am going through. Maybe accounting graduate schemes are not what my life is mean't to be. But this experience has made me realise that what I want is a job where I can grow, where there are opportunities and future career prospects. 

(I just checked my email on my phone now and I got another rejected) It's a sign,lol.

I'm going to look at this situation as an opportunity to try something different, to not close myself off to just accounting but to look at myself as though I have good GCSE's, I went to college and completed it in two years (that's also when I started this blog) I got into a good university and graduated. I have a degree and no one can take that away from me. I am a smart woman and even if it takes me a minute I will have a successful career.

I am going to take a week break, to do nothing and to just calm down, re-charge and have a fresh mindset. And then after that I will start looking at the jobs available near me, looking at internship's this time.

I need to apply to jobs with a future, no dead end jobs. Somewhere, where I can progress somehow. I will re-do my cv again and carry on practicing aptitude tests because you never know when I will apply to that. The good thing about graduate schemes I think is that they have given me the opportunity and skills to be well prepared for other jobs out there. So, I am no longer afraid of doing application forms or the tests. So, there are some positives. 

I am actually wondering where I will end up. I have just looked at the jobs and they are a few jobs I can see now. I was tempted to apply but I am just going to leave it for a week. It's actually hard to tell myself to stop and take a break but I know it's what's best. 

Fingers crossed I will have a job at least by February. If I can get one this year, that would be amazing. 

I will always remember this story about Pandora's box that I heard in primary school about how when everything came out of the box the only thing that remained was Hope. I feel as though the only thing remaining in me is HOPE.