I feel like a failure right now and I don't know what I am going to do with my life. I had applied to a college to do an access course in maths because I got an A in Maths GCSE. I really did revise hard on everything but I have just come from the college and this is what happened.
They were 5 of us there. I was the only girl there and we had a test for an hour. Then one by one he marked the paper in front of the people and everyone was getting 100% and I got, well lets say, I got below the mark you need to get accepted onto the course. When I learn't about that I just wanted to cry and leave the place. He said other things afterwards but I just couldn't hear him. I felt numb and I still feel like that now. I am in shock right now. Here I was planning this dream life of mine and the reality is it will never happen. My best is just not good enough.
I didn't really think that this would be my 100th post but hey, what can I do. It also makes me wonder if higher education or even university is for me. I don't know anymore, I really don't know. This blow I have really felt it. I just need to forget about this whole thing and move on with my life.
Did I make the right choice leaving? Yes, I can't look at sick or poop the same anymore. But it's really hard right now and I have been getting set backs but maybe the college thing doing Maths wasn't mean't for me. Everything happens for a reason right. I need to listen to some tupac to make myself feel better.
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